Wed, 10 September

Doctors have confirmed that TGA striker Al Noel will be sidelined for 2 months with what has been described as the worst broken nose ever seen.

Both sides of the nose were shattered in a collision with a boot in TGA’s triumphant inaugural Champions Cup match over the weekend.

Having undergone surgery hours after the incident, doctors were able to prevent the imminent implosion of Al’s face, but unfortunately could not do enough to see him back on the pitch next week.

There is talk of Al wearing a face mask like that Japanese chap in the world cup, but the company that produces a mask strong enough to contain Al’s beast of a nose is yet to be found.

TGA has suffered from injury a lot so far this season, with Weaver missing most of the season with a an ankle injury, Boland missing out with an ankle injury and Hearne sitting out for the last few weeks with a torn hamstring.

Sickboy also missed out on the start of the season and Cuong had to sit out a match midway through the season (although Hutton did a great job of covering for him).

It is times like this that TGA is thankful for the great depth it has. With so many injuries this season and so many injuries to top players, TGA has still managed to maintain a 100% winning record, sit top of the table and are through to the next round of the Champions Cup.

In some more promising news, Keir ‘I do play football, honest’ Creighton was seen taking on a group of 8 year olds at the polo club on Saturday night. He and sickboy managed to keep the ball off them for a good 10 minutes, and Keir remarked after that he felt good. An attempted flick did however hit a small boy smack in the face, so maybe we stick to the basics for now Keir… Hopefully we will be seeing the return of TGA’s original goal poacher in future weeks.

TGA wishes Al a speedy recovery, and look forward to getting him back on the pitch. Management also request that Al brings additional beers down to the games he watches, as we get thirsty to.